How I Learned To Love Myself

As I look back at my life, I realize how strong this body is. 

It went through physical and emotional abuse for many years. It was called fat, disgusting, embarrassing, stupid, unworthy and more. It was made to feel weak, unloved, unwanted. It held many bruises and pain, both physically and mentally.

I felt ashamed. I felt inferior to people who looked the way I wished I could. I felt like I wasn’t enough because I didn’t look a certain way. I turned to diet pills that made my heart race. They made me irritable and close to fainting but I didn’t care. I thought that’s what I had to feel like to be skinny.

I was often told that I had such a pretty face, if only I would lose some weight. My weight defined me, or so I thought. It was all I thought about so I ate and drank to numb the feeling of failure. Of never being good enough. Of feelings of insignificance because I couldn’t be what everyone wanted me to be and that was thinner.

Trauma, anxiety, adrenal fatigue and more plagued me for so long, & still do because of all the hurt I inflicted on this body to try to be what I thought I should be. I thought being thin would make me happy. I thought people would love me more, see me for who I was and would accept me. It’s been a long road.

Guess what? I’m done! I love this body now. No matter what it looks like. Because it helped me to survive. Survive the abuse. Survived the hateful words thrown at it. Survive the lack of love I gave it. And it’s still here. It grew 2 beautiful children. It found me an amazing husband who has never once hurt it or told me to change it. It’s still here and so am I!

So I will no longer give a shit if it doesn’t look the way others think it should. If it jiggles when I run or doesn’t look perfect in a bathing suit. It wakes up everyday giving me another chance to be here, and from now on, I will treat it with kind words and gratitude, and no longer with hate!

How about you? Are YOU ready to love your body for what it’s done for you instead of hating it for how it looks?! 

Love You now! Not when you are where you think you should be. Because what if that moment never comes. Work on your mind and your body will follow.

So now that you have decided you want to love your body and you more, how the heck do you do that, you ask? Below are a few of the things that I did to change my mindset around myself and my body but im about to tell you something you probably aren't going to like. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes work. You have to be consistent and you have to do it, even when you don't feel like it. Because YOU ARE WORTH IT!

1 - Affirmations. Yep…you know I was going to say that, didnt you? It feels silly when you first start because you won't believe what you are saying to yourself because, let's face it, you have been saying hurtful things to yourself for years. Say it anyways! Put it on sticky notes in places where you will see them often throughout the day. Places like your bathroom mirror, your car, your headboard of your bed, your fridge! All the places! And say it to yourself every single day, multiple times throughout the day until you start believing it, and then keep doing it! Like forever!

Examples - 

My body is beautiful. 

My body is worthy of love.

I am healing, I am healthy. My body is a gift.

I choose to give my body the love that it deserves.

I love and respect my body.

2 - Speak Affirmations Into Your Mirror. I know you just rolled your eyes at me! But that's ok. Do it anyway. It becomes even more powerful when you look yourself in the eyes and say them! Imagine saying the hurtful things you say to yourself, to your daughter, you Mom, your best friend! You wouldn't! So, it's time to stop saying it to YOU! Once you have those affirmations written down, every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed, look in that mirror, straight into your eyes and repeat them 5 times, out loud, to yourself. 

3 - Gratitude. You cannot be grateful and hateful at the same time! Get a journal and every day, write 5 - 10 things you are grateful for each and every day. It can be as simple as I am grateful for my bed or as deep as you want it. It's your gratitude, You are the boss of it. Only you know what you are grateful for. Just make sure you write it down every single day. Can you say it to yourself? Sure… but it's much more powerful to write words down on a piece of paper! So, for the sake of this exercise, you're going to write it down! Everyday! Got it?

There are other things that I did besides these 3 steps, to learn to love myself and my body, but today, we start with these. It takes baby steps to love yourself so it's time to get started on the best relationship you will ever have and that's the relationship with YOU!

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